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THE CONGRESS OF WOMEN.
ful and respected—through marriage. She could attain this without a special training of her faculties, or a thorough development of her character.
A modern woman, on the contrary, does not consider marriage as her inevitable fate; nor is she convinced that it be ever woman’s chief gift, to fulfill the duties of a wife and a mother; nor does she believe that without a special training of her faculties and a thorough development of her character a woman can be able to fulfill these duties as they should be. She therefore asks as her right, considers as her personal duty, considers as a general necessity that a woman should, in the first place, be a character and full-grown personality; should, secondly, make sure of her chief gift or capacity, train it so as to know what regular work means, and be able to support herself. Then, having attained this, she asks for the liberty of choosing marriage, if she feel particularly disposed toward it, and of refusing it if she see another way of being more happy and more useful to the world. And this latter decision she wants to be allowed to take without being pitied by the world, nor blamed for it. A modern woman, having thus developed her brains and her will, there is still one quality she cannot do without—a warm heart. She must have a feeling of fellowship toward all other women, pulling, so to say, at the same rope with her; the wish to help all those striving in the same direction with her, who may be less gifted or less fortunate than she, or to help all those who, loosing courage, have ceased to fight. Unless she have the backbone of a conviction and the feeling to stand with others for a cause, and to claim justice, she is no modern woman. I now repeat my question: Is this- modern woman the wife her German countrymen expect? And I repeat the same answer as before, No; she is not; and therefore her marriage prospects are bad in Germany. Yet, though the modern woman knows that marriage at its actual state of development in Germany is not meant for her, yet she is not at all averse to marriage in itself.
Being a full-grown and fully developed woman, she is perfectly capable of love, of passion and devotion. She does not pride herself on being insensible of love, nor affect a lofty and ridiculous disdain of men in general. On the contrary, knowing how hard it is and how much it has cost her to make her way, to grow a character, she will fully appreciate a man, who, having done the same, expects the same from her, with whom she may share her ideas, thoughts and feelings, her experiences, her tendencies, perhaps even her profession; whose comrade she will be and whose wife, for the modern marriage is based in the first place on comradeship and mutual understanding
Unless the modern woman find a man to appropriate her strength of will and tenacity of purpose, as she does his; unless he admit her on a footing of perfect equality, for the simple reason that she is his equal; unless she be sure to find all this and be asked to give all this, I think she will not marry. For what outward motive could else lead her to that resolution? She supports herself, so does not want to marry in order that she may be provided for. She is fond of her work, absorbed by it, makes friends by it, is. respected for it, so need not marry in order to obtain the regards due to a useful member of society. That at times she will suffer from being alone, that she will have her hours of temptation, crisis and depression, the modern woman is far too upright to deny. Yet, so far as I can see, a character of this stamp, a modern woman, will cherish liberty above all, and will be happier still when living alone, free to think, to feel and act as she likes, as if, having married for marrying’s or passion’s sake a man she does not thoroughly agree with, feels bored by his presence all her life. And the modern women begin to be somewhat bored. Hitherto they were taught to look up to man, and on a whole they did. How this innate feeling of respect for a man as such is more and more declining in the soul of modern women, and this change I consider as most destructive for the marriage prospects to our sex. It is no change one could rejoice in. It is very painful to realize, for who would not prefer admiring, venerating with all her heart, to blaming judging and condeming?
Yet this change from innate respect to downright indifference is actually coming